today was a semi-unproductive day.
I went to the library, and studied math. Then i realised i suck. I suck because i can't understand so much. Oblique Asymptotes, Vertical Asymptotes, Parabolas, Matrices, Vectors... I just wanna bash myself up. Maybe i'll injure myself so much that i won't have to take the promos.
AGRH.

When i got out the library, there was this man who stuck a piece of paper in my face, so i had to oblige. After taking a look at it, I realise it's a leaflet for a church. Why do churches so actively promote the word of god? is it of that much importance? They don't really stand to gain, do they? When people convert to christianity, others make such a huge deal of it, like 'hallelujah, let us celebrate' etc.. I don't really understand.
Maybe science isn't suppossed to go together with god. Maybe it is. Maybe god isn't real. Maybe science isn't reliable. Maybe, i just don't know anymore. I still think god doesn't exist, but that's just me anyway. I know its so much more comforting to know that theres something out there to look forward to after death.. Some sense of euphoria and serenity about the thought of dying, because there's "something better out there". But really, all i think it is, is just darkness. Like.. a closure, a void. and empty space. Matter, Anti-matter. Ying, Yang. Right, Left.

Life, Death.

or, if christians have it, Life, Afterlife. Heaven, Hell..

religion is a bloody confusing thing. i shouldn't think about this now. I have no time. i have no more space to think about these things in my brain.

i.... i... am really stressed out.
i.... will do my shitting best to promote.
i... will get better in math
i... will try to write better econs essays
i... will try and regurgitate whatever formulas i learnt for chem in exams and understand the questions, and apply correct solutions
i... will become a mugger who knows bio terms inside out
i... will write good compo's
i... will try and understand chinese
i... won't have any regrets.
i... will do this for me.

... ok i don't want to end on that note.

I played GH3 at cousin's place today, and MAN, was i PWNING. i had 98% on knights of cydonia, and 96% on the killers' when you were young. it was pretty damn awesome.