let me forewarn you, this is not a cheery post.
well, it isn't even a long post anyway.

for my whole life, it's been not enough.
Not _____ enough.
fill in the blanks with the appropriate words.
good, hardworking, clever, persistent, nice, cool, studious, friendly, loyal, aware.
been there, done that.

Fuck it.
Pull yourself together.
You'll forever be an underdog loser (in your my own very eyes anyways) your whole life.
Make something out of your shit of a life.

Parents
Friends
School
Schoolwork
Band.

No, it's not so hard, these 5 things, in addition to eat, sleep, bathe, breathe, pee, poo.
Not that hard is it?
Shannon can't you fucking handle your own life.
Fucking grow up.
Sober up.
stop being a fuck-up.
Suck it up.
Go up
Be on top.
I will win this fucking war called "MY STUPID LIFE"
stop making empty promises to yourself.
Print this out & stick it up on your wall but "blanco" out the fwords.
Yes shannon, i mean YOU.

Just do it.

Nike.

Don't care anymore lah!!!!!!!!#$W%&^*(%^#(*$^$*&*(&)*+_(&^*%^%W^*(%&$#^ &*

serveral funny things today.

i was walking home, and i desperately needed to pee, and i was like.. a few steps more, a few steps more! GOGOGO! But then the rainfall didn't help to ease the urgency i felt that i needed to pee. Like watching it rain i was like omg. So i closed my eyes and walked across the overhead bridge. Till i walked into the railing on the other end. It was silly. Then i was super urgent, i was running/hopping/walking weirdly home. yes ok. stupid lah.

Then i had to call J1s to ask if they were interested in joining band. Two girls could only speak chinese, so i almost asked the girl to join CO man. I asked my mom to translate for me. then the girl started laughing at my chinese. Whatever, man.
GAWD.
Before i called the 2nd girl (name looked chinese so i decided to play it safe) i called wei liang to ask what orchestra was in chinese. And violá! HEY PRESTO, it is..
*drumroll*
Yue Tuan.
It was super funny. She tried talking in english, i tried conversing in mandarin. Really, really, that made me laugh.
Then, my stomach ached.
AWW.


that's all.